If I could change one thing ...

Hello world!  

How are you doing today?  I am doing ... alright.  I just got back from playing lazer tag with my husband and our friends.  We are celebrating our first wedding anniversary tomorrow (that makes me feel like a legitimate adult, now) and we decided to do an annual lazer tag game and dinner, to repeat what we did for our bachelor and bachelorette parties.  Girls against guys, we have the whole place to ourselves, no holds barred.  I straightened my hair this morning, which was silly because by the end of the game I had so much sweat on me that not only was my hair wet and wavy, but my face had an all over sheen to it.  Nice.  Thankfully, I brought a change of clothes.

I know I haven't written anything in a while, and that is because of a few things. Namely, I have been busy with It Takes A Village.  That is a thing I started to help people in the community who need food and clothing to support their families.  I started multiple fund raisers and received donations of clothing, food and pop bottles that got returned for money, which was used to buy food hampers.  All in all, it was about a month's worth of work on a nearly daily basis.  It ended yesterday with me and my friend Victoria delivering the food hampers to four families, JUST in time for my husband and me to wind down and relax for our anniversary. 

After I came home from doing the deliveries, I did some writing.  The following is what I wrote:

"As a teenage girl, I remember being asked at youth group, "What is your favourite part of your body?" It was my youth pastor's wife who asked this, trying to inspire self worth in us girls.  As life went on, the question shifted from being asked by a leader, to being asked by peers and self.  The question itself also changed:

"If you could change anything about your body, what would it be?"

The question turned from being self affirming to being self critical. The answers for teenage girls would would range from the hair on their heads to the size of their feet. All of it had to do with being unfit for the mould into which our western society has tried to cram us. Don't worry, this isn't going to be a post about the female body and how we ought to appreciate it in all of its glory, although that is true. What I want to tell you about is the part of my body I would change if I could. 

I would change my tongue. 

"Your tongue? Really? Why?" You ask. 

Well let me tell you:

The tongue is a very talented muscle. It allows us to experience the world through taste. It allows us to speak and to sing. We use it when we kiss (the good kind of kissing, anyway!) the tongue is a multi-tool, conveniently located on every model of homosapien. (Don't even get me started on the tongues of Canis Familiaris and Felis Familiaris)

"If your tongue is so capable, then why would you change it?" You ask.

Well let me tell you:

Although I have a fairly diverse palette, I would like it to be better. I would like to be able to eat an unfamiliar dish and pick it apart entirely down to every last ingredient. That would be cool. I can do this with simpler dishes, but I would like to be able to recognize every flavour. Not only that, but I would like to be able to tolerate what are currently unpleasant flavours. I gag at even just the smell of seafood, let alone the taste of it, yet it is so good for me. I would like to be able to handle bitter things like a straight up kale smoothie. I would also like to be able to be more adventurous in my food ventures when I travel. 

As for the speech and singing, I will start with the singing because it is quicker. I would like to be able to sing a bit better, have better control. I would say I want to be able to hit lower and higher notes, but that has to do with my vocal chords and my lung capacity. Oh yes, and on that note (pun intended) I would like to be able to whistle. I can't do it to save my life. That will actually probably be how I go out: "Listen lady. Either you whistle or you die. That's it!"

Speech: Although this wasn't my initial thought about why I would change my tongue, it is something about which I have often thought. I have loved languages ever since I started kindergarten and I learned how to count to 1000 in both English and French. Although I "know" five languages, I am fluent in none of them, not even English. There is always more to learn. How amazing would it be to be fluent in all languages and to be able to speak any language in the world? Or to imitate the sound of any animal? Okay, those of you with a little less Dr. Doolittle in you than I have, that last part may not apply. But really, it would be truly amazing to be able to communicate with anyone in their native tongue. 

There is the word again. Tongue. In the book of James in the Bible, the writer likens the tongue to the rudder of a ship. Our words can steer us in one direction or the other. Love or hate. Intolerance or acceptance. Bluntness or tact. Violence or peace. Harshness or edification. Expletives or forbearance. Lies or the truth. I, for one, would love to be able to "hold my tongue" and practice forbearance. Just yesterday at the dentist I was shocked (by the sharp pain that went shooting through my mouth after the dentist applied the air to test which tooth was in pain) and I swore. Twice. I immediately apologized and the dentist jokingly said that she is going to charge me $1.50 per swear word next time! (Didn't it used to be a quarter for the swear jar?  Inflation sure is getting the better of us, sometimes.)  Although swearing twice when in shocking pain may seem like a minor thing, it is something of which I am not proud. I used to never swear, and then it became a gradual thing, and in certain social situations, the expletives would come flying out. It was like a cultural thing. It made a story more colourful and showed emotion. The thing is, when I was a young teenager, I held this opinion: People who swear are exhibiting a lack if intelligence by putting on display their limited vocabulary. Surely they could replace the "f" word (and others) with about a hundred other words considering all the ways in which they use it.

So that's my thing. When it comes to speech, I still need to hold tight reins on my tongue. Years ago, I was known for being blunt and opinionated. As a young, intelligent woman, I apparently liked the sound of my own voice. I didn't like not engaging in group discussions. I was told by a youth pastor once that I intimidated the other kids because I always had so many valid things to say. Even though he liked the things I had to say, he wanted other kids to speak up as well. From then on, I would try to refrain from putting up my hand at youth group or in class unless I was called on specifically. From there, I learned another lesson. I have been through a lot in my life and it has toughened me up. Although this now gives me more compassion for people, I used to not quite understand that pain and suffering are relative to the world in which each person lives. Hard is hard. I didn't get that. I would come across as rude, harsh and cutting without even realizing it. I came to my senses one day at work when I was told by a coworker that I had made another coworker cry. Now, I try to be considerate of other people's circumstances and their feelings, although they may differ from my own. When I do screw up and hurt someone with my words, I get pretty hard on myself because the last thing I want to do is cause anyone pain. 

And without any segue, I come to the point for which I am sure you have all been waiting. The final point! The reason for which I initially wanted to change my tongue. I have recently started eating a lot of seeds. Therefore, the reason that made me realize that I would change my tongue if I could: In its current form, it allows me to pick most things out of my teeth. However, I still find myself reaching for my toothbrush or a toothpick after eating seeds and other foods. That is why I would change my tongue. That, and the fact that were I to change the colour of my hair, my skin or my eyes, were I to be stronger or less fat, were I to be taller or shorter, were I to be more flexible, it would not come even close to giving me all of the skills and characteristics that a perfectly functioning tongue could give me."

One more thing I will add: I have gotten notifications on my Facebook page for this blog and it tells me that I have all of these new views.  It doesn't tell me who is doing the viewing, though, and it makes me so curious!  When I signed in to post this, my data showed me that I had 62 page views on March 30th.

So, here is my question, world:

Was it your?  Have you been reading my posts?  I would love for you to leave a comment to let me know what you think, or even just to say "Hi."  Let's keep the conversation going!  Agree with me, disagree with me, tell me what it made you think or feel!

Anyway, thanks for "listening."  That's all for now.

- K