What I Learned Today

I just finished reading all of my previous blog posts.  I did this so that I could catch myself up on what I wrote and get a feel for where things had gone in my life in the last two years.  It may sound silly, like I should know where my life went in two years, but there are two reasons why I specifically need a refresher:

1) I am really good at living in the moment and not thinking too much about the past.  This is likely because a lot of my past was painful and simply not thinking about it is a habit that I picked up along the way.

2) I have a head injury that I sustained last year and I have this new skill set that allows me to forget things almost instantaneously after they happen, and/or right when I really need to remember them.

So, what did I learn about by reading my previous posts?  Let me tell you.  I learned that:

- There is great value in writing things down. 

You may think that you will remember things, but the truth of the matter is, you won’t always remember things.  You may block things out, get distracted by a major life event, sustain a head injury like I did, or have age related memory loss later in life.  Not only that, but the brain has an interesting way of remembering things – at least, mine does.  Having read through the last two years of my life (parts of it, anyway) I realized that my mind remembers bits and pieces of things, the important stuff... and what I actually felt and wrote down is much more emotional than what I remembered.  It is so much more in depth than I often remember it being.  Things that seemed important, or serious two years ago don’t seem as significant now.  When I look back on the past and see that my problems and emotions were minor and my attitude and outlook were juvenile, I am able to analyze my current state much more clearly.  If I am feeling lost or like I am not doing enough with my life, I can look back on what I have written and see how far I really have come.  That helps.

- I need to back up my files

One of my posts talked about a list of 1000 things for which I am thankful.  Since writing said list (I don’t remember how far I got... somewhere in the 300’s I think) my computer crashed and I can no longer access any of my files, including my thankfulness list.  I also wrote a book which was in its third draft.  That was also lost.  Somewhere I have a hard copy of the first draft, but needless to say, the whole thing has changed significantly since its first draft.  For a while I was afraid to create anything in written form on a computer.  I was afraid that I would end up losing it.  Now I am past that fear and I am able to start writing again.  This time, I will save my work... in more than just one place.

- God gives us the desires of our hearts.

Having looked back on my blog posts, I was able to see all of the things that I had prayed for.  As I saw these things, I realized that I now had many of those things.  God really does give good gifts to His kids.  I just need to look back and see what was then as compared to what is now so I can see what things God has done.  It is so easy for the days to go by one by one, each one passing with seemingly little change.  When this happens it can be easy to think that the blessings in our lives are things that we have achieved on our own by working hard day by day.  But if we look back a year, or two or three, we can see more significant change. We can see the points at which God intervened and it is much more evident that God had His hand in things the whole way along.  

- I have many things for which to be thankful.

Here is where I start my list over.

1) I am thankful for pie.

2) I am thankful to live in Canada where I have access to clean water and free medical care.

3) I am thankful for my car.

4) I am thankful for my family.

5) I am thankful for my friends.

6) I am thankful for my church family.

7) I am thankful for my cats.

8) I am thankful for my vacuum cleaner.

9) I am thankful for my boyfriend.

10) I am thankful for his amazing family and how they have welcomed me to be a part of it.

11) I am thankful for my bed.

12) I am thankful for my voice.

13) I am thankful for my body.

14) I am thankful for Jesus.

15) I am thankful for angels.

16) I am thankful that God protects me in ways I don’t even know.

17) I am thankful that I am able to walk.

18) I am thankful for fresh produce.

19) I am thankful for my juicer.

20) I am thankful for dollar stores.

I could keep going, but I will leave you with that.

Thanks for “listening.”