Lately, things in life have been ... a lot. Between the busyness of being a mom, and all the programs starting up again for the fall, things have been a bit chaotic. I tend to bite off more than I can chew. I've recently taken on a leadership role in a Mommy & Me group. Last year, I was a new mom attending this group, rarely getting to group on time, not attending every week, and usually barely having enough energy to get myself to group, let alone shower and do my hair and makeup before going. Now, I have to go every week, I have to be early, not just on time, and I have to do a lot of prep work during the week to make sure that things go smoothly. I'm not complaining. I love being in this role. I love having a creative outlet for all of my crafty ideas. I love supporting other moms in my community. It is just a lot some days. When things get heavy in my personal life, and in the lives of those close to me, it takes purposeful energy to keep showing up, and to keep ahead of all the prep that goes into a group like this.
Group was today. I have been preparing for today's craft intermittently for the past two months. Last night, I was up until 1:30am, at which point my brain was well past its full capacity to concentrate. I went to bed with the full intention of finishing my work before leaving for my group. Morning came around, and I had a friend call me right as I was about to get up to get ready. It was not the kind of phone call I could just brush off. Her situation is one of those ones that is heavy. My heart was feeling weighed down. I still had prep work to do. My daughter was feeling especially independent, and got into some of my craft supplies, which ended up all over my bedroom, and living room. I finally collected myself, brushed my teeth, threw on a hat, some deodorant, and a splash of makeup, and put all of the crafts supplies in a big bag. I gathered up my daughter, our bags, and loaded up the vehicle. We got to group just on time, and I started setting up. About 20 minutes before group started, I realized I had completely forgotten to bring half of the supplies needed for the craft. I had to leave my daughter with one of the other leaders, go back home and get my supplies, and come back to introduce the craft, and teach everyone how to do it. It ended up going well, but it sure felt like a lot of effort to make it happen.
Now, I am at home, dinner has been eaten, the kitchen has been (relatively) cleaned up, and my daughter is in bed. I am now doing something I have not done in a very long time. I am sitting with my laptop, writing, while comfortably laying in my bed. Now that all the craziness of the week is behind me (in theory) I feel the need to sit down and process some things, and to reflect. Writing is a great form of self care for me, and I wish I had more time to do it.
This feels good.
