Three Weeks of Focus

I know that Biblically, when doing a fast, we are more or less told to keep it a secret.  I don’t know if this is completely backwards, since the point of a fast is to focus on God, and focusing on God leads away from sin, but here it is.  I’m about to tell you that I’m doing a fast, so don’t be shocked!   I am doing a fast that is three weeks long.  Actually, my entire church has been called into this so that we can push through what has been a very hard season for us as a whole, in which we have seen many trials, a lot of loss, and just a whole lot of personal struggles.  These things may all be on an individual basis, but our church has a unique sense of community and we tend to share in each others’ ups and downs.  It reminds me of a song that I learned when I was younger by a group called Point of Grace.  It is called Circle of Friends and one of the lines says, “If you weep, I will weep with you.  If you sing for joy the rest of us will lift our voices, too.”  It has always held such a strong picture for me of what community looks like.

This fast we are doing is referred to as the Daniel fast.  It is based off of a time in the life of a man named Daniel (a character in the Bible) who did a fast for three weeks.  During this three week period, he ate only fruits, vegetables and whole grains… or, as my pastor says, “no meats, not treats, no sweets.”  Considering that I am a vegan and I don’t eat wheat, I am basically already adhering to this.  The pastors challenged us in two areas with this.  First off, this is not meant to be any sort of diet or a health cleanse.  It is meant to focus our hearts on God.  Second, we can go beyond the food only fast, or choose to fast from something else entirely.  Given my current diet, I have chosen to make some adaptations to my diet as well as fast from certain forms of technology.  For the food, I will not eat any junk food (yes, there is such thing as vegan junk food,) and for the technology, I will listen only to Praise 106.5 fm radio, I will not go on facebook, I will not watch any TV, and I will not use any of the game apps on my new smart phone.  The reason I am mentioning this is not to brag, or to purposefully break the rules of fasting.  I am doing it as a means of accountability.  In addition to the things I will be cutting out, I will be focusing more on scripture and prayer.  I plan to write in this blog daily (may not post until the next day, depending on my work schedule) and reflect on what God is doing in my heart.  I am going into this expecting to hear from God.

Yesterday was day one.  When I woke up in the morning I did not feel any different.   I prayed right away and I checked my phone.  No, I didn’t check facebook.  I checked the Bible app on my phone.  The app that I have has a convenient feature that gives a daily Bible verse.  I found the verse of the day to be very fitting, given the reason and purpose of this fast.  It is from Leviticus 20:7-8 and it says, “Consecrate yourselves and be holy, because I am the Lord your God.  Keep my decrees and follow them.  I am the Lord, who makes you holy.”  This, to me seemed like an encouragement right from God himself, meant specifically for me.  

Aside from having this daily Bible verse, I am also in the process of going the entire Bible (I am in Genesis 46) and through proverbs.  I feel that Proverbs is an excellent place to start the day.  It is known as the book of the wisdom.  Wisdom is something I have been seeking this year, having made some life changing decisions.  I have cut certain people and things out of my life, and made way for other things.  These changes, replacing bad with good, have made me feel like a whole new person in a lot of ways.  God is changing me from the inside out.  It may not be entirely evident to all, but I do believe that anyone who has known me for a decent amount of time can attest to the fact that I have really changed a lot in this last year.  I am proud of the changes I have made and the resulting progress I have seen in my life.  I am entirely thankful to God, for giving me wisdom, and for being gracious enough to have given me yet another chance to follow Him and obey Him diligently.  He is so good to me, for giving me life, and for allowing my life to continue when there have been times when it looked like it was at its end.  

On Halloween night, I had to call an ambulance for my mother while I was at work and she was at home.  I was not able to be with her right away.  Something that I was thinking about as that night went on was the fact that even the most consistently strong person in my life is not consistent.  Her life is just as finite as mine and could be cut short at any moment.  So I asked myself, what then?  Well, then I would have a very vivid realization of something that I thought I understood before, but I really could not fully grasp.   That realization is this: God is THE only consistent thing in my life.  He IS my life.  He is the reason that I breathe.  He is what I live for.  He is the reason I get up in the morning and the reason I look forward to each new day.  He is the reason that, in my deepest moments where, in the past, I have even been suicidal, I know that there is still hope.  He is so very present in my life, and I so often fail to realize this.  I wish I could be constantly aware of God’s presence in my life as I am aware of the presence of my mother in my life.  That, today, is what I pray will be the result of this three weeks of focus.  I pray that it will continue well beyond these three weeks, and that it will be embedded deep within my heart - the knowledge of this LOVE that He has for me… that He would even be mindful of me at all.

 

He is so good to me.

Thanks for “listening.”